Prelude:
In my dream the world is crashing down- burning from the edges like a photo held over a flame. Meteors gorge huge craters where I have walked and the buildings implode as I pass.
I keep on walking. I don't look back.
There is someone I need to find.
Part I
The city seemed to be slowly baking, the heat melting the asphalt and wilting the leaves on the trees. It made the city lazy, made it sleepy, for once made it quiet. Cass opened her mind and checked the parameters, looking for anything she felt she should know about, anything they should deal with, but all, for the moment seemed calm.
She found it comforting to know that periods like this were possible. That sometimes they weren't needed, that the city was capable of getting on, on it's own.
*Five years.* she thought as she gathered her things and made her way back home. *Five years and how things have changed.*
She had been so young when she had first arrived. Alone for the first time in her life, surrounded by people who had no idea that the world she lived in even existed. She had never had that in Sunnydale. There, for as long as she could remember, she had been bound to people who understood, who taught her how the world really was. It was only when she reached Europe, that she felt she could understand at least some of what Buffy had felt when she had first arrived at the Hellmouth.
But then, like Buffy, Cass had met people. Not many, or at least not many people who knew a great deal about her, but there were a few and they made London seem as much her home as Sunnydale did. Her family was still there, despite the physical distance, when ever she switched on her computer.
And she had Spike.
Cass smiled to herself as she headed towards the tunnels, aware of the figure stood in the shadows before she turned the corner.
"Hey." she said gently, spying the blonde vampire through a billow of cigarette smoke. "What'ya doing out here?" She took the fag out of his mouth, kissed him and put it back.
Spike winked at her. "Just prowling around seeing what's going on."
Cass leaned against the wall and smiled at her lover. "A big fat nothing as far as I can see. We might even get the night off for a change." She raked her fingers through her hair and realised she could probably do with a bath.
"So I thought we might terrorise the city for a bit, get some food..." Spike watched as Cass' eyebrows disappeared into her fringe.
She mock gaped at him for a second or two then translated. "You mean can I be loud and annoying, and wind up the locals while we pick up some whisky and ice cream, then go home and chill out? Right?"
"We could do that instead..." Spike grinned and stepped back to avoid her swat.
"So everyone's gone home?" she asked, as they headed back towards town.
"The place is quiet... for a change."
Spike flicked what was left of the cigarette into the gutter as they passed, and slung his arm around Cass' shoulder.
"And no word from the Scoobies or LA?" Cass slipped her arm around his waist and slowed down slightly, synchronising their step.
"Your dad left a message, wanting to know when you were sending him England in a box again... but apart from that..."
Cass smiled. It had become something of a tradition over the years. Picking things up that she remembered from Giles' stories... bits and pieces she had never seen in Sunnydale and knew her dad missed. When she had enough she would parcel them over, and as time went on Giles had started leaving hints when he felt he was running low on anything much-loved. Usually it was toffee.
*****
It was after one by the time they reached Leicester Square, half full with movie-goers, streaming out of the late night shows. It was still so hot that no-one seemed in any hurry to get home, sitting around the gardens, finishing their huge drinks and picking popcorn out of their clothes. Cass was half tempted to join them, and hang out with Spike under the twinkling lights and huge movie star faces, but the thought of their home, empty and cool kept her moving towards the 7-11.
The shop was tiny, but the space was further restricted by the huge shelving unit, the owners had helpfully dumped in it's centre. Cass squeezed her way around it and felt Spike's cool arms around her waist as he followed. Without really looking she picked a couple of cartons of ice cream from the freezer, going on almost too familiar colours and shapes to guide her. Spike leaned over and swapped one of the containers for a thick, overly chocolatey flavour.
Cassidy's subsequent "Hey!" subsided as she noticed the glimmer in his eye. She suddenly decided the change could be fun.
She grabbed a bottle of whisky from the shelf as she made her way to the till and dumped her goods on the counter, along with her card.
Minutes later they were back out on the street, glad to have the freedom once again to move any limb further than a couple of inches.
"Do we need anything else?" asked Cass, bouncing along the music that spilled out onto the street from the nearby clubs.
"We have more than enough to be getting along with." replied Spike, wiggling his eyes brows.
Cass couldn't hid her grin.
"You know I don't think you annoyed anyone tonight." said Cass as they headed home. The streets away from the centre were quiet but still stuffy from the heat.
"I can be good when I feel like it. And it's too hot to bother." replied Spike.
"You've got used to the cold too haven't you?" she teased. "You'd never have been this lethargic in Sunnydale."
"In Sunnydale, Pet" Spike spat. "I had to watch my arse."
"I'm saying nothing." replied Cass, holding her hands up.
"That's usually when you're at your most dangerous." Spike countered.
Cass paused and grinned. Then her expression changed. A strange wind seemed to blow...
"AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH!!!" The roar cut through the silence as a battle demon came running out of the darkness, straight at them, his sword raised.
The demon seemed to ignore Cassidy, as if aiming solely for Spike. Cass turned on her heals as it passed her and tackled it from the side, but was dislodged with a sharp punch to the shoulder. She rolled on the ground and righted herself, watching in horror as the demon lunged at Spike again with it's sword. Spike jumped backwards, the sword nicking his forearm, and with a growl of rage threw a roundhouse kick which sent the demon stumbling for a moment. His eyes were a sudden yellow and he looked like a kid at Christmas.
"Really, Cass." he said, ducking to avoid the blade, as the demon swung at him again. "It's not even my birthday."
Cass swallowed her shock and jumped on the demon's back, trying to dislodge it's hold on the sword. She grasped and punched at it's face with all her strength, but was knocked off again, landing on the curbside.
"Don't mention it." she said panting. "Here, let me help you open your present!"
Satisfied the demon was preoccupied, primarily with avoiding the vampires feet, Cass emptied her mind and felt the power surge within. The demon howled as the magik hit it, dislodging the weapon in it's fist. Cass shot out her hand and grabbed the sword as it shot towards her. She gathered her strength, waved her other arm and threw the demon against the wall. Ignoring it, suspended a foot or so off the ground, she hurled the sword to Spike and heard as satisfying squelch as he ran it deep into the demon's chest.
With a sigh of relief Cass closed her eyes. Magik could take it out of her. She could only control a spell of that size for so long before she became exhausted. She just needed a second to let it pass and with Spike there, alongside her...
The demon's luminescent blood flowed freely out of the wound, over Spike's hands and arms, washing over the graze, where the sword had gashed though his skin. Spike stumbled backwards, taking the sword with him, and fell to the ground. He could feel the panic rise through his body, wanted to yell out, but nothing would come.
Having caught her breathe Cass ran her hands over her face, opened her eyes, and found Spike on his hands and knees, the Mohra Demon slumped against the wall in front of him, a huge gash in it's chest where the sword had been. She dashed forwards as the demon stirred again, grabbed the sword, still covered in blood and swung it over her head. But the resounding, and decidedly fatal crunch was obscured by the fact it wasn't the demon she was staring at, it was Spike.
He seemed to be gasping for air, his chest rising and falling as if he fought for breathe. Something was definitely wrong... Spike was alive.
Cass skidded in front of her lover and grasped both his shoulders firmly in her hands. It was as if instinct had taken over and the only thing in the world she could do was to calm her mate down.
"Breathe."
Their eyes locked and Cass was momentarily thrown by the look of pure fear in Spike's eyes.
"Breathe."
She held his gaze, exaggerating her own rise and fall, giving him something to copy, setting the pace, trying futilely to relax him. Her grip on his shoulders lessened, as his frantic gasps subsided, and she ran her hands up his neck and felt a strong, steady pulse beneath her fingertips.
"Shit!" she said, quietly.
Once Spikes's breathing had slowed the full force of her shock, amazement and panic set in.
Spike was breathing?
Spike was breathing!
Cass couldn't say she had never thought about this moment, but she understood for sure that it would never come. Vampires don't change back. All the magik and the wishing in the world wasn't going to let her sit with her lover in the sunshine. And yet the now constant thump beneath her hands opened up a brand new world of opportunities whether they wanted them to...or not.
Cass realised there was no way she could predict how Spike would feel about it. She only knew that Spike prized his strength, his power, plus it had been a very long time since he was last human. And with his demon gone, what would remain? Would he be the same person she had know all her life?
The person she had lived with, and fought with for the last five years? The person she loved? Cass stared at the man in front of her and realise she had absolutely no idea what would happen next. And for the first time since the demon had attacked, she felt terrified.
Spike felt invaded. His insides were talking to him, intruding his body with aches and gurgles and thumps. He could feel his lungs fill with air, feel the moisture behind his eyes, and the intense burning from the gashes on his arms. He willed his face to morph but it would not. He brought his fingers to his forehead, pulling at the skin and felt only sore. Spike looked into Cassidy's eyes and saw confusion, excitement and true fear, and promptly threw up.
The bile spread beneath him like a glue, forcing him to shuffle the two of them forwards a foot or so. Spike could still taste it in his mouth, feel where it burned as it passed the soft tissue of his throat. It was as if everything was hyper-real.
He watched Cass lift a hand towards his cheek, felt her arm move around his back, her hand grip his shoulder. Every touch was new, sparking along his skin, awaking the briefest of memories from somewhere deep and forgotten within himself.
"Sshhhh..." Cass soothed, moving forward, holding him against her, feeling his heart beating against her own. Spike clung to her, fear rising in his throat.
*****
They made their way home, silently through the tunnels, each grasping the others hand as though at any moment they might fall off the very edge of the world.
Spike found it frustrating, stumbling in the dark. Only hours before he could have claimed it as his own and now he was having to watch his every step with little warning of what was ahead. Cass sensed his tension and for a moment fumbled for the torch in her pocket. But on the brink of giving it to him she hesitated. Would it seem like a kick in the teeth? She grasped his hand tighter and the two of them continued in the gloom.
*****
Back home Cass sat Spike down on the sofa and collapsed next to him. It was strange to see him so straight backed and uncomfortable.
"So..." she said, breaking the silence finally.
Spike looked blankly at her, and then down at his hands.
"Ok so I have to say I'm in two minds." she said, grabbing on to his hand. "Part of me wants to research this demon, try to work out why the hell you've changed. But a big part of me just wants to drag you outside and show you all the things that I've wanted to show you but haven't, you know,
with it being just a bit fatal." She stared at him, waiting for a response.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, slowly. She had been avoiding the question for hours, unsure whether it would antagonise him.
*I mean, how would I feel?* she thought. *If someone asked me that, after I changed species?*
"It hurts." he said finally.
"Where?" asked Cass, gently.
"Everywhere!" And with that the flood gates were open. "I bloody ache! And my stomach? How do you stand this?" He rotated his shoulders and groaned.
Cass smiled. She couldn't help it. If he was swearing there was a very real chance that her Spike was still somewhere in there.
"You're stiff." she told him, pressing her thumbs into his shoulders. "It happens. You should have a bath. It'll help." She paused and watched him arch his back. "Or do you want something to eat first?"
"I don't know." he said, eventually. "I actually don't know."
Cass stood and gently took Spike's hand, leading him into the bathroom. She turned the taps on fully and sat on the edge of the bath, watching as Spike undressed. Punches that he would have once shook off without a second thought now bruised his skin, and he winced as his back shifted. It was almost too much to bear.
"I'll get some food." she said quietly slipping out of the room, suddenly almost unable to look him in the eye.
Spike slid under the water and opened his eyes. The ceiling was a mass of ripples, which ricochet off the sides of the bath.
He was human again. What did this mean? It was too much to take in.
Spike had decided long ago that his was not the usual un-life. He was... He corrected himself, bitterly... he had been, not only a vampire who could no longer hunt, but also a master vampire who now found himself helping to protect both a city, and it's human and not so human inhabitants. On the more pro-vampire front, he conceded, he had help to wrestle power out of the hands of the watchers council, but only to end up having to help set up something in its place that would protect the innocent, no matter who they were. He wasn't sure what that made him?
But, as Cass had put it, he was still the big bad where bad guys were concerned. It was just that now, he couldn't be in their gang any more.
And Cass. She was a wild thing. She had grown up around the demons, the monsters and vampires, and knowing nothing else, had accepted it all. If her father hadn't managed to get himself sacked she would have been a watcher. But like Giles and the rest of the bloody Scooby gang, she had ended up becoming something a whole lot more. Since his arrival in London they had fought side be side countless times, and Spike had watched Cass grow in power and confidence.
She was his, and, though he had found it hard to admit it at first, he was most definitely hers.
Spike knew he had been happy. He lived with a woman who could drive him mad and keep him sane. There were no shortage of necks to crack, and the blood was plentiful, even if it did come from a packet. Would things be so different if he was alive? Cass was twenty seven, almost a year older than he had been when he had changed, and Spike had had to begin accepting he was going to have to watch her age, while he pretty much stayed the same.
But it seemed, not any more.
*****
Cass retrieved the shopping, from where she had slung it on entering the station. The ice cream cartons were squishy but still kind of cool, and amazingly, the whisky was still intact.
Leaning against the counter she tried to make sense of her feels. She was scared, she was excited and like Spike she felt sick. Her head was filled with images of his face in the sunshine but at what cost? Could Spike accept what had happened? And for that matter, what *had* happened? She could feel her genes kick in, the need to research, to find out. But it would have to wait. They both needed rest and a bit of time to adjust. Transatlantic links and difficult conversations would have to wait a few hours. She could have him till then, no matter what else occurred later.
Cass grabbed a couple of spoons and made her way back to the bathroom. Spike lay with his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling, breaking the surface of the water with every breath.
"Hey." she called, as Spike opened a lazy eye. She beckoned him to sit up, stripped off, and lowered herself into the tub behind him, resting his head on her shoulder. She smoothed back his hair with her hand and kissed his temple. "How do you feel?"
"Tired." replied Spike, lifting his hand and threading his fingers between her own.
Cass reached across with her free hand and picked up the ice cream tub, placing it on Spike's chest. "I thought you might want some, though it's kind of mushed."
Spike dipped his finger into the cold goo and scooped some up and into his mouth. The chocolate relaxed him, and only tasted slightly more real then it had before.
He repeated the action, offering his finger to Cassidy, who captured it between her lips. Her tongue felt like velvet as she lapped gently at it. Cass returned the favour, scooped up more ice cream with her fingers and presented them to Spike, who sucked on them greedily. Her chocolatey skin was soft and pink, flushed from the hot water. Staring down at his own he realised they were almost the same colour.
His gaze travelled down their bodies. He was nestled between Cass' legs, her knees poking out either side of his hips. There were bruises that travelled up her thighs, half hidden by the water, where she had hit the curb. They matched the ones on his chest where the demon's fist had connected in the heat of battle. He wished they would fade, as they would have before, but instead they were an angry red, threaded through, here and there, with bright blue. For the first time Spike understood what battle did to Cass. Yet she went through this every time, and still fought on. It made his heart leap in his chest.
"I love you." he said, suddenly, staring up at her with liquid blue eyes.
"I know." replied Cass, kissing him gently. "I love you too."
Cass brushed a finger down his face, feeling the pulse as she reached his neck. She continued across his collar bone and down his chest, grazing a nipple with her nail as she passed. She could feel Spike shifting beneath her, feel his gasp, his breath quicken. She kissed Spike's shoulder, tasting the warm, wet skin against her lips. Baring her teeth, she drew them across his skin, heard him sigh.
He turned and pulled her into his arms, his hips now ground against her own, his lips parting hers and deepening their kiss. His tongue was warm in her mouth but he still tasted like Spike, making her heart lurch. He tried to snake his hand up her body, to touch her breast but the bath was too small and cramped. She moaned as he broke the kiss, pushing himself upright till his knees were rested between her legs. Spike grabbed her hands and eased her up with him, kissing her as their bodies met.
"Spike." Cass gasped, pushing him back on his knees and moving to sit on his thighs. She could feel him, hard against her groin, his cock resting against her stomach.
Spike's hand moved from her hair, trailing down the outside of her breast, his eyes transfixed on it. He lowered his head, grasping the nipple between his teeth, causing Cass to moan, her fingers tangled in his blond curls. He pulled and lapped at her, feeling her harden against his lips, her mews echoing in his ears. When he eventually broke away he looked up, and Cass was met by tired eyes filled with lust and longing... and love.
Kissing him gently, she ran her fingers down his body, stroking his cock beneath the water. Never wavering from his stare, she shifted herself so he was over her entrance, and with a gasp enveloped his flesh. Spike instinctively brought his hand to her waist, trying to thrusting against her, and making the water splash even more, over the edges of the bath.
Cass could feel him, warm within her for the first time, watch his skin bloom and hear his ragged gasps and pants. She smiled at him and bracing herself on the sides of the bath, began to move, creating friction between their bodies. Spike shifted his hand to where their two bodies met, caressing with gentle finger, his skin, glistening with water and sweat.
Cass thought she could almost see his heart beat in his chest as his orgasm beckoned. It heaved as he gasped, open mouthed, his knuckles white, where he gripped the side of the bath. Cass shifted her hand over his, and clung on to him as her own pleasure grew, as Spike's flutter and jerks within her sent her over the edge.
Forehead, to damp forehead the lovers sat in the tingling afterglow, both bodies flushed and blood-filled. The water was getting cold, and the sky outside was getting worryingly light.
Cass was the first to stir. Kissing Spike slowly, she climbed off his lap and reached for the towels, wrapping the two of them in soft cotton. Spike was shivering slightly as they slowly cross the station, hand in hand.
They collapsed on their bed, still damp for the bath, but neither caring.
Snuggling under the duvet, Spike's head on her chest, their legs tangled together, Cass whispered into his hair. "Sleep." she said, gently. "We'll find out what happened, I promise."